Straight out of the box, Lush earned points, because they chucked in a pot of Prince Shave Cream (£4.99/$12.95) for free, and everyone loves free stuff, so as it was in there, I’m going to review it. Both the Dirty and Prince Shave Creams were fantastic. Strongly scented, but not overpowering, nice and thick, but didn’t gunk up my razor, and you don’t need a lot of the stuff on your face for a smooth, clean shave. The “Prince” range had a stronger, sweeter scent, and was a fair bit thicker than the Dirty Shave Cream (£4.99/$12.95), so don’t use too much, or it will likely clog up your razor. Fortunately, you don’t need to use a lot, and for me, a fairly thin layer worked both on the slightly longer, softer hair on my cheeks and jaw line, and the thicker, shorter stubble that grows under my chin.
I did find that for thicker, rougher stubble that needs a bit more softening, the “Dirty” range is much better, and although I liked the smell of the “Prince” range a lot, the “Dirty” cream just felt more natural, because I’m a big tough man with stubble and all of that, so apparently, I’d rather smell of lavender than oranges. Both left me with smooth, cool feeling skin, and absolutely no irritation whatsoever, even in places I usually find get razor burn really easily (that little bit behind your jaw, just underneath your ear).
The Dirty Body Spray (£12.95) is also fantastic. There’s a bit about layering up the scents of Dirty, but as you’re supposed to use the body spray as an “Italian shower” (polite for soaking yourself in deodorant and pretending you’re not a smelly oik who doesn’t shower), I’m not sure how you’d layer, as it’s for hiding the fact you haven’t had time to shower. It is useful, especially if you wake up late, because you spent all night studying/doing your level 50 epic raid, and you have a lecture in 10 minutes and there are girls there and you don’t want everyone to know you spend 85% of your free time pretending to be a troll paladin, and 10% of that “free time” is washing time. It’s way more effective than dousing yourself in Lynx, at least if you’re trying to smell nice, and not pretend you’re a class of year 9s. The “Dirty” Body Spray is basically just aftershave in a spray bottle though, not anti-perspirant, so you’re going to want some of that anyway, best if you get a non-perfumed one, just so the smells don’t conflict too much.
To really put the stuff to the test, I did the most scientific method I could come up with in less than five minutes, utilising what I was going to do that day anyway, and went to play Basketball in the scorching 20Cishmaybe heat, then sprayed it on when I was done. Sadly, it didn’t grant me teenwolf-esque basketball skillz, but I didn’t smell as bad as everybody else.
I would like to quickly point out that as both an Englishman and an English graduate, 20C counts as hot (Editor’s Note: 20C = 68F. What a wimp!), and spraying body spray on after playing sports then sniffing yourself counts as science. It is a bit weird though, so I recommend you don’t try this at home, because if people see you sniffing yourself, they’ll think you’re a bit odd and won’t want to stand next to you, even though you smell really bloody lovely.